Considering this is my 99th blog post since beginning this crazy journey, I was tempted to use a different song to lead off with. However, I don’t think any well-known artists ever hit the top 20 with 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall. How many of us used this song to pass the time while driving long distances before there were books on tape or even 8-track tapes? Or just to drive someone crazy? Guilty.
You haven’t heard from me in several weeks. Lots of excu, er, valid reasons for that. But the bottom line is, I had writer’s block. You already knew of the latest scan results with a new set not due until the second week in February. And no new side effects of my A-team drug, and I know how much you look forward to hearing about those. So no news = good news. But not necessarily = creative blog material. So I began thinking about how certain song titles could directly match up with various aspects of my journey. So here’s your ticket to ride…
Almost two years ago, life as we knew it changed forever. I was like a candle in the wind. But with a little help from my friends (and family), I realized that you’ll never walk alone. While my situation is always on my mind, I’ve got a lot of living to do. Of course, if I could put time in a bottle, I’d love to go back and for once in my life, change the course of my journey. But do you want to know a secret? I’m walking away a winner after everything I’ve learned in the past 23 months. But I’m definitely not walking away. Had to make the song title fit, ya know.
Yesterday I was oblivious to the possibility of ending up with lung cancer. Today I’m a believer. And much more knowledgeable. More than I want sometimes. It has occasionally been a hard day’s night. I wanted someone, anyone, to tell me why I was “selected” for this challenge. I was a nowhere man. But after being a day tripper for a short period of time, and fretting for eight days a week, I came to accept my new “normal” and let it be. Wow, that was almost an exclusively Beatles paragraph.
But almost two years later, I’m surviving, thriving and stayin’ alive. In my life, I’ve never seen such support. You raise me up, stand by me and come rain or come shine, you are always there. And that makes me happy. You’ve never let me consider quittin’ time. That’s just the way you are. And by “you,” I mean all of you: family, friends, blog commenters and just those that read my blog but stay in the background. When I’m 64, a little more than two years from now, I know we’ll be having a celebration with my fourth survivor year approaching.
As of right now, all I can say is how sweet it is. What a wonderful life. But that’s the way you make me feel. Lots of challenges coming up but all you need is love to break past them. And I’ve got gobs of that from you all. Plus I haven’t got time for the pain. We’re gonna beat it. We just have to walk this way.
Don’t stop believing.
Business as usual. Day at a time.