September 8, 2013 (Sun) – Left in the Lurch

So this could be what the the surgeon said when the nurse asked him where that missing clamp disappeared to while operating on the Addams Family butler.

lurch02 -Ted Cassidy

OK, that was a big stretch. But waddya want? I’m really struggling for content here. The Big C knocked on its butt and side effects of the Tarceva are a pain in the same part of the anatomy but manageable. The kitchen remodel and associated stress that came along with it are almost history. Emphasis on almost. Stay tuned for pics on the next blog. And my next set of scans more than two months away. So what’s left to bore you about?

Well, the title this time around could be alternately phrased as left in the dust, left by the wayside, left high and dry or a multitude of other sayings that refer to the same end result . So what am I referring to? Well, since February 13, it has pretty much been all Craig, all the time. It was this test, that scan, this medication, that side effect, this doctor appointment, that follow-up. You know how it is when someone has a new baby? OK, maybe you have to be an estrogen type to understand but conversations tend to get hogged by the big news of the day, whether it be a newborn, an upcoming wedding, or getting diagnosed with a stupid fuzzy. So yeah, whenever we met with family or friends, my latest medical escapades dominated the conversation.

As most of you know, I regularly volunteer at Camp Ronald McDonald for Good Times. This is a camp for kids with cancer, and their siblings. A long time ago the leaders of this wonderful program realized that cancer is a family illness. That each of the family members are equally affected by this cancer diagnosis, but in different ways. Typically the patient gets all of the attention while their brothers and sisters get left by the wayside. Thus, camp allows brothers and sisters to come knowing full well that often they are hit even harder than the patient and need the same attention and care as their ill sibling.

So my family has been left in the lurch. Just not inside Lurch. For those of you that know my family personally, you have been pretty good about making sure that they, especially my wife Kim, have been followed up on to see how they are doing. Yet, I, who should indeed know better, have not been so attentive. The other morning when Kim woke up with a terrible migraine, it hit me that I had not been very inquisitive as to how she was doing overall. Or my son and daughter for that matter. I suppose the fact that I am handling it fairly well never let me realize that the rest of my family might be hit as hard or harder than I was. They just did a good job of hiding it.

Thus, I gotta change that.

About me

It’s a family illness and a family recovery. When scanxiety kicks in before my next set of tests, I have to remember that I am not the only one that feels it.

OK, confessional over.

confessional

So the kitchen is 10-14 days away from final completion. Just about the time I return from a conference in Ottawa. Can’t wait,  if only for the clutter to left by the wayside. For someone as anal and OCD as me,  that has been the biggest headache. But hey, the final result will be worth it.

Business as usual. Day at a time.

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6 thoughts on “September 8, 2013 (Sun) – Left in the Lurch

  1. Craig, you and my husband need a long talk. He’s always busy with his doctor appts, that he forgets my migraines. And they ain’t fun. So give Kim a hug.

    Reply
  2. Great insights, Craig. So much all at once is tough, but that is how it usually goes. When the contractors tell you the kitchen is done, just remember the “Maurizio 80% Rule” that I shared before. This is tough for OCD types, but don’t stress because at some point while it will never be perfect, it will be good enough and that is really OK. Stay healthy!

    Reply
  3. So,,,,,, no mention of how the youngest and most needy is doing?!?! Can’t ever leave out Bill when talking about the family!

    Enjoy Canada…. See you in a week + EZ

    Ellen Knight 858 774-1589

    Reply
  4. Hi Craig. We’re so happy to hear your good news. You are part of a very special family and we want all the happiness and good health for you all. Have fun using that great new kitchen. I know Kim is a great cook and that she Is going to love it! Have a good trip to Ottawa. Keep up the great reports!

    Love, Ann

    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  5. First, my best to Kim hoping her migraine is history by now. Serious illness is tough on family members and in our family we’ve found ways to deal as time passed like you are now. With Rick’s 20+ heart disease and my mom’s Alzheimer’s I’ve learned that little escapes for myself like massages or gardening and now my own horse compensate for everyone focusing on Rick and mom (now just Rick 😦 ). And I have been blessed with a dear friend whose husband is well but a much known and sought out person so she’s mostly the invisible one in their family. She never asks how Rick is doing and I never ask about her hubby’s comings and goings. We just get together and it is all about us. She started this ‘about us’ time thing years ago and it is a little selfish but creative way of taking care of ourselves.
    Rick at some point years ago had an awakening to the family thing you just blogged about. Since then he insists on either rubbing my feet or back each and every night instead of saying thank you a trillion times for cooking his special diet, getting him exercising etc. So, you may shower Kim with similar little praises that speak louder than words if you aren’t already…
    Be well and don’t stress over the small stuff,
    NC

    Reply
  6. You’re an awesome Dude, Craig – for many reasons but also for figuring this one out. We know what we know when we know it. Little servings of life – they don’t always come on one big platter for consumption!! Love you both.

    Reply

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